"There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the monitor. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits. "
This is by way of announcement that the writer of Good Enough Farm is experiencing some difficulties. Of a technical nature. Of the inner mind. I've been feeling very stressed since my fall about a month ago, and thought it was just related to the difficulties it presented in daily functioning. But the rib is virtually pain free, the ankle has a lovely lump still but is fully operative. The mind, however, is another thing. Tears lurk behind my eyes taunting me. I just want to sit down and say "I can't do it anymore!" really loud and obnoxious like a child having a tantrum. I am quite deliberately stripping away the layers of "extra" in my life, hoping to find the tipping point and balance it there. I haven't found it yet. I've been here before, feeling overwhelmed by just the thought of what each day involves even if it is just laundry and dishes and sad dinners of fish sticks and french fries. I did try; I made broccoli in an attempt to look like I cared.
So, if the posts fall to the wayside for a bit, know that it's not you. It's me. The awe and mystery of the Inner Mind are totally overrated.